A surprise birthday celebration & a pandemic-induced life lesson ~a Swamusings post

A surprise birthday celebration & a pandemic-induced life lesson ~a Swamusings post 

Namaskaram 🙏

Yesterday was made memorable by many, which was personally a learning for me. 🤔Special Pranam 🙏 to Shri Prasannaji, who keeps pulling out such memorable surprises, relentlessly. 👌May Grace 🙌🏻 be with him to keep spreading the cheer 🌻

Humans generally expend their brief lifetime, based on perception and not reality. And, our perception of someone remains almost indelible, causing friction in relationships, which is easy to fix, yet goes unfixed for a long time, due to the fact that the hilarious species known as Homo Sapiens is also an extremely emotional species. 🥴 Perception (from the past) + Emotion (in the present) is a deadly cocktail that disrupts reality. Comprehending & appreciating reality (‘Life, the way it is’ as my Guru puts it succinctly) requires rational thinking, which in turn requires awareness, and time. Since time is a precious commodity in the ultra-competitive survival that many believe to be life, we who are always in a tearing hurry, hardly ever pause to ponder and wonder about the real life. This, in essence, is the root cause  of misery, which sadly is our own creation. 😫

Like any being on this tiny planet, the deadly SARS-CoV-2 virus too has its virtues, apparently. The foremost of those being, pausing the maddening pace of our lives. When the pace of our lives slows down, we suddenly start perceiving even well known things, and people, and situations, differently. This is no different from slowing down a vehicle we drive to observe the beautiful scenery all around, which most of us rarely do.🤔

What I’ve witnessed yesterday was such a change in perception, which was my learning from the Golden Birth Anniversary (50th birthday) of my better-half (which she truly is, for it’s not easy to manage living with the aasaami known as Swamy, for 25 long years 😂). I witnessed the wholehearted participation and Joyful wishes shared by many, including family & friends, to make a day truly memorable for the wonderful being known as Mrs. Chitra Prakash, whose many virtues weren’t really understood by many in the past, despite experiencing them first-hand, which appears to have obviously changed, at least a wee bit, since people have had plenty of time in the recent past, to put things / events / people in perspective, and demonstrating the willingness to change their long-held perceptions, about things / events / people.

The online event itself (organised as a surprise to her – and even me, until the day’s dawn), the wide spread – truly global – participation, the messages – including a hand-written thoughtful note from her f-i-l, the gifts – cake (when not all bakeries are functional, yet), sweet & karam from Grand sweets along with flowers (wow!), and an elegant watch (hmmm, Jr has really grown up now), were all proof that any of us can change, over time, if we are willing to that is. And it was truly amazing to witness such a broad spectrum of willingness to let go of the past and embrace the present, from a wide range of people with unique characteristics and myriad backgrounds. 

During Mrs Chitra Prakash’s 50th Birth Anniversary celebrations @ SwamyHome

As a samsari, I know quite well how Chitra has touched many lives – not just humans, btw. I also know how much her actions on specific situations have been misunderstood by many, that helped solidify their perception & opinions about her and her family. I too have gone through this in my own existence and have held very strong opinions, based on my limited perception and comprehension of the grand cosmic dance known as Life. It took a Guru (Realised Master) to shake my strong belief foundation and let me become aware of ‘Life, the way it is,’ aka Reality. Only after such a powerful intervention did I change significantly as a person / being, a change many of you are aware of only at the surface level (long white flowing beard, padhigams, Quora Q&A, et al), but something my immediate family knows a bit deeper. 🙄 Only my Upa Guru Sohamanandaji probably knows the change far deeper than anyone else. 😇 And as a seeker… Wait a minute, this isn’t about me, so let me stop digressing… 😷

The beauty about my better-half is that she effortlessly moves on in life, as she doesn’t carry the burden of the past – including events, opinions, perceptions, etc. It’s not that she doesn’t remember them, but the amazing fact that she isn’t overly burdened by any of them. She certainly isn’t a seeker like me, which makes me wonder how she does it so effortlessly, since I’ve to spend considerable effort on Sadhana (spiritual practice) and contemplation to do the same. 

So, despite the fact that quite a few participants of yesterday’s birthday celebrations have not only held strong perception-based opinions about her, but have also expressed them in the past, she herself was simply enjoying the day and everyone’s hearty wishes, remaining strongly rooted only in the present moment. And she did that so effortlessly, without doing any rigorous Sadhana. It makes a serious seeker like me go bonkers, since I write about it all the time and yet people don’t get it. And here’s a practitioner who I’ve been living with for well over a quarter century, who doesn’t even read whatever I write, yet actually gives a live demonstration of what I write, from my own experience! 😂

I’ve not only written extensively about the pointlessness of celebrating a date or day of the past, but have even admonished people for daring to wish me on such dates & days. 🤨 Though that’s just my opinion, based on my perception of life – limited or otherwise, my family obviously has to bear the brunt of such strong opinion.😵 In general people seem really happy to celebrate anniversaries – not just theirs, but those of their acquaintances, friends, family and relatives as well. And it’s mostly harmless, except for a typically sizable hole in the wallet, for whoever is funding such celebrations.🤐

That understanding is what made me go with the flow, and be part of the 50th birth anniversary of my dear sahadharmini, aka life partner, to whatever limited extent I can. 🎉
It showed me that when people have time, they can ponder, contemplate and eventually change their strong opinions about people, places and events, since their perception too change over time. The key is to find time, first and foremost for ourselves. That’s perhaps why time is known as a great healer. And we must all be grateful for the COVID-19 pandemic, and the prolonged lockdown resulting due to it, which helped us put life in perspective, and change our perception – and opinions – of people and events, because for the first time in our lives, we had plenty of time in hand! ⏳

As someone who always felt blessed to have Shrimathi Kalyani engira Chitra as my life partner, in this lifetime, I take this opportunity to express my – our, in fact – gratitude to everyone who made the Golden Birth Anniversary of Smt Chitra memorable. She truly deserves it and Grace 🙌 ensured she received it yesterday, through all of you. 🎂😊 May Grace 🙌 be with you for a purposeful life 😌 overflowing with joy 🌼

 
Pranam 🙏

~Swamy | @PrakashSwamy 

Swamusings @ 50 ~ Different Folks… Very Different Strokes..!

There were two sets of people with whom conversation happened today. That too in the morning itself, which is practically impossible in Swamyverse. It’s as rare as Pournami (பௌர்ணமி – full moon) and Amavasya (அமாவாசை – new* / no moon) happening on the same day, which actually happened only once as far as we know, resulting in the amazing, revered verses known as Abhirami Andhaadhi (அபிராமி அந்தாதி). The first stanza of the first verse ‘உதிக்கின்ற செங்கதிர் உச்சித் திலகம்’ is a near-perfect தமிழ் version of SindhooraaruNa vigrahaam (சிந்தூராருண விக்ரஹாம்) – the beginning of Lalitha SahasraNhaamam. Ah, the genre hopping mind…

Anyway, the first call was made to Swamy and the second one was made by Swamy (no choice there – yep, Swamy does make phone calls, once in a red moon). Both conversations were with elderly people, who diligently stick to the ancient practice of celebrating / wishing others only during the janma nakshathram day (ஜென்ம நக்ஷத்திர தினம்), and strictly avoid that on the birth date, which has never been part of this ancient culture anyway (anniversary celebration is a western import, unsurprisingly tied to all kinds of commercial extortion).

In both conversations, the male elders offered the customary aaseervadham (ஆசீர்வாதம் – blessings / wishes by elders) and promptly handed over the phone to the female elders (and most probably went on / away to finish today’s newspaper/s). It’s the conversation with the two female elders that did the naamakaranam (நாமகரணம் – giving a name to someone) for this post, i.e. ‘Different Folks… Very Different Strokes..!’

The first conversation (call-in on WhatsApp, in line with the social times we survive these days) was about Swamy’s childhood (the ‘primary school’ period, to be precise), which didn’t happen in his parental home but at his maternal grandparents’ home. The reason cited still is ‘good education,’ which is debatable to this date. In reality, there was a separation of a first-born child from the parents, for a few years, when siblings were getting added to the brood. It was most probably done without any ulterior motive, unless of course such a separation was advised by a family josier, in which case the elders of the day will ensure strict adherence to such ‘expert’ advise, without question. And that child grew up to be a loner, despite being part of a fairly large family, which moulded him into an inward-dwelling quiet persona (other than the moments of angry outburst, of course), who prefers solitude at all times, for the rest of this lifetime. Since any debate about the past is utterly pointless, let’s leave that aside, conserving time, effort and energy. 

Coming back to that first conversation, it was filled with reminiscences of events from a long gone past, which apparently was still vivid in the caller’s mind. Swamy couldn’t even remember one of the incidents recalled, which is quite surprising since that event has happened during his youth, much of which he could recall well – especially that particular time period, which was truly life-altering. Before you begin to wonder, no, it had nothing to do with spirituality, other than Swamy trying to be a non-believer for a brief period of time, resulting from a very active youngster’s utter frustration of being confined to a bed, for several months (due to a sports accident, that required 2 surgeries to fix and recover from the physical injury). Overall, that conversation was an enthusiastic recall of the past, ending with one more round of blessings for a long, healthy life.

The second conversation was predominantly about the event of Swamy’s birth itself, which should’ve been like any other child birth. It was and wasn’t. Instead of a BAUHumbug routine event, that child birth apparently transformed into a memorable event due to a few reasons, some of which may sound a bit imaginative, but were true nevertheless.

• First, he was the first ‘male’ child to be born in a new government hospital (the hospital itself was fairly new and until then all child births there were producing only girls, apparently).
• Second, he was born on the day of Dhikvijayam (royal procession on all directions – forgive the transliteration, since there aren’t any exact equivalent in english for many such sanskrit words) of the reigning Goddess/Empress of the town Devi Meenakshi (this is one of the key events of the famous annual festival known as Chithirai Thiruvizha – சித்திரை திருவிழா).
• And third, the Apollo-13 spacecraft landed safely back on earth on that day on the other side of the world, despite major technical difficulties, which ended up giving this first-born male child of a tamil family an english nickname ‘Apolloer,’ in small town Madurai. Considering there was no social media or TV then – it was 50 years ago, after all – and the only news sources were the radio and newspapers, visualising that amusing/amazing situation is left to your vivid imagination.

The conversation which went on for some time turned out to be more about the mother than the child.. heh.. heh.. Despite Swamy’s poking, not much was recalled about that (supposedly) wonder kid, but quite a bit was spoken about the mother of that child and her childbearing experiences.

Thus started the actual anniversary dhinam of a child who was born in the popular temple town of Madurai on this exact day (per the janma nakshathram, of course), five decades ago. Today happens to be not only the janma nakshathram day, but also the Dhikvijayam of Madurai MeenAkshi Amman. Despite the amazing similarities of the two days, 50 years apart, there is also a significant difference, which is quite sad, considering it involves not just Swamy or his extended family, but the populace of the entire town and nearby towns and villages as well.

The famous annual (summer) festival of Madurai Meenakshi Amman temple is being celebrated this year in a very subdued manner within the temple itself, due to the COVID-19 pandemic lockdown. Both Chennai, where Swamy resides and Madurai, where he was born and brought up, are unfortunately marked as ‘Red Zone’s. Typically, there’ll be several thousands of ardent devotees thronging the vast – and ancient, needless to say – temple, during each day of the nearly 2-week long festival, despite the blazing summer sun. On the special days such as Thirukkalyaanam (திருக்கல்யாணம்), DhikVijayam (திக்விஜயம்), KaLLazhagar EdhirsEvai (கள்ளழகர் எதிர்சேவை), the crowd of devotees will easily swell to lakhs. Till date, Meenakshi Amman isn’t just a deity inside  the temple for the emotionally-charged Madurai folks. She is considered very much their own Amma, i.e. mother.

Of course, as far as Swamy is considered, today is just another day – golden anniversary or otherwise. He’s thankful for waking up as usual, still breathing fine. The nondescript daily events list is getting ticked of one by one, as any other day in the recent past. His sahadharmini (சஹதர்மிணி) was kind enough to prepare sweet pongal (சர்க்கரை பொங்கல்) to mark the occasion, which is the only noteworthy change from the routine post-retirement living. Usually, some kind of sweet prasaadham (பிரசாதம் – offering to the divine) is prepared only for festivals celebrated in SwamyHome. Today is anyway the Jagathjanani (ஜகத்ஜனனி – universal Mother) RaajaMaathangi’s DhikVijayam festival day. So, in a household with Devi’s presence (in the form of Devi Linga Bhairavi Yantra), it’s appropriate to offer sweet prasaadham on this day.

Those two conversations of the day went on to highlight the saying ‘Different Folks, Different Strokes.‘ Very different strokes, i.e. perspectives, indeed. Neither is good or bad, obviously. They are who they are and what they remember and recall is what they have experienced and thereby know. What each elder expressed was certainly true, as it is based on their own direct experience. But it’s the perspective offered that makes them vastly different from each other.

One looked at it from the perspective of bringing up an interesting child, that wasn’t her own. She was only an indirect stakeholder in shaping up that child’s life trajectory, despite actually bringing up that child for a certain period of time – a very crucial time in that child’s existence. So the recall of her experiences reflected that child’s skills, attributes, characteristics. In a way, it was a retelling of that child’s growing up days, as it was.

The other elder’s experience was of her own, rather than the child. This could be simply due to her own very first childbearing experience (she ended up doing it quite a few times, afterwards), which must have been overwhelming for a young woman from a traditional upbringing with limited external exposure of the world. For the child, who himself is nearly as experienced as those elders now, as a retiree at 50 (the planned retirement itself happened 5 years ago), the perspectives were quite a revelation – despite not being able to recall an event or two, of his own life, covered in those conversations!

Oh, before concluding this one, it’s worth recalling (pun, absolutely intended 😉 another post by Swamy on the occasion of the calendar birthday/date, couple of weeks ago. That post, ‘ஐம்பதிலும் ஞானம் வரும்!‘ is much more elaborate and will offer quite a few insights for readers who contemplate whatever they read. Here’s a link…

ஐம்பதிலும் ஞானம் வரும் ~ ஸ்வாமியின் உயிர்மெய் பதிவு  

As a species endowed with relatively higher intelligence (not necessarily better though) in this vast creation, our perspective of things, events and people is a result of our ability to shape and utilise that intelligence. There’s no doubt the environment in which we were born and brought up – including the people around and close to us at the time of growing up – plays a significant role in shaping our personality and perspectives.

But one’s perspective can eventually change – wider, broader, deeper – based on one’s exposure to the external world, commonly known as society. Such change in perspective is an outcome of both personal and professional experiences. But the caveat for such a change is one’s in/ability to assimilate, contemplate and comprehend life happening all around, objectively, without colouring them with subjective bias of any kind. In essence, how much a being changes or doesn’t is entirely in the hands of that being.

At 50, Swamy’s perspective of Life (the way humans know and live it) has changed quite significantly. Realising mere survival is just a BAUHumbug routine, he has consciously bid adieu to the corporate world, where he performed his survival act in a reasonably successful way for nearly two-and-a-half decades, five years ago and started treading a different path, to realise the Truth (about Creator, creation, existence, et al) and attain Mukti (the ultimate liberation from the repetitive birth-death lifecycle spiral).

This ongoing journey has significantly altered Swamy’s perception of Life (the way it is, i.e. Reality) as well, though there is still a long way to go, inward of course. So for the seeker that Swamy is nowadays, pretty much full-time, this day too shall come to pass, just like any other day in the past, including the day in the long gone past when he came (back!) into the world of survival, one more time, as the jyEshta kumaaran (ஜேஷ்ட குமாரன் – first-born male child) of a god+government fearing humble middle-class family, in the temple town of Madurai, on the auspicious day of DhikVijayam of Meenakshi Amman (மதுரை மீனாட்சி அம்மன் திக்விஜயம்).

The just-born ‘apolloer’ has certainly travelled a looooooooooong way – literally and experientially – from that day and place. And life goes on, without being bothered about whether he has turned 5 or 14 or 23 or 50, on this particular day!

Be Joyful & Spread the Cheer 

~Swamy | @PrakashSwamy

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