Are we chasing the wrong goal?

Question on Quora: “Does everyone have to be successful in life? Is it fine if we don’t have any dreams or aspirations? Is it fine to never achieve anything?”

Summary of my response:

Unless someone desperately wants to be perceived as successful by society, it’s not necessary to chase success in everything one does.

Btw, not wanting to be successful has nothing to do with having dreams or aspirations. Nor has it got anything to do with one’s achievements.

Whether we go after success, and the happiness associated with achieving it, or strive to being joyful inward, irrespective of the song & dance routine we’ve to perform on the survival plane of existence, is a choice we’ve to make for ourselves. Choose wisely, for our lifetime isn’t that long!

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Are we chasing the wrong goal?

Success in the society’s view is always relative & subjective. One’s success is always in comparison to someone else’s. And one’s success is perceived as worthy or unworthy, based on the perceiver’s limited knowledge. This pervades all aspects of survival, aka day-to-day living, in the world we are in.

Society has always adored successful people and put them on a pedestal. But the same society is also swift in pushing the successful ones off the pedestal, when it gets to know of their misdeeds, of any kind, without even verifying that information.

So, does everyone really have to be successful in life? 

“Unless someone desperately wants to be perceived as successful by the society, it’s not necessary to chase success in everything one does.“

~@PrakashSwamy

Btw, not wanting to be successful has nothing to do with having dreams or aspirations. Nor has it got anything to do with one’s achievements.

If someone desires to be joyful in life, s/he doesn’t have to be successful for that? Not at all. Just being content with whatever one already has would be sufficient to be joyful.

But how many of us are capable of being content, even with the survival essentials such as food, clothing & shelter? 

We invariably compare whatever we have with whatever others – neighbour, colleague, sibling, relative, friend, foe, et al. – have. And we believe that having something bigger or better than others is the way to be perceived as successful. That’s the trap set by the society, in which many of us willingly choose to remain trapped, for entire lifetimes.

“Success is relative. Perception of success is subjective. Both are external variables that cannot be controlled by us, in most survival situations.“

~@PrakashSwamy

Joy is neither relative nor subjective. It’s an internal state that one can experience and feel within oneself. When the state of being joyful becomes a constant, i.e. lasting experience, one reaches the state of bliss. 

Unfortunately, most of us neither seek joy nor bliss, but go after happiness. 

Happiness is a transient state, that doesn’t last long. And it’s mostly associated with success, in any endeavour humans undertake. So we link success with happiness, and choose to go after it. In short, we’re chasing the wrong goal, due to lack of clarity on the purpose. That’s why happiness remains elusive and most of us remain miserable, despite being successful.

Now let’s relook at the question, shall we!

Does everyone have to be successful in life? 

Only those who perennially chase happiness, which is invariably associated with success by the society, have to be successful.

Are you one such person?

Is it fine if we don’t have any dreams or aspirations?

If one is chasing a dream or aspiration to be perceived as successful by others, then one will remain miserable internally, despite one’s success being celebrated externally.

Instead, if one wishes to be joyful internally, then do go after any dream or aspiration that would lead you towards being joyful, with single-minded focus and boundless enthusiasm.

One can certainly have many dreams & aspirations. But which one of those are you going to go after, in terms of fruition. And why are you choosing a particular dream or aspiration? What’s the objective and end state of that pursuit?

Is it fine to never achieve anything?

If the achievement is done for the purpose of being perceived successful by others, then that achievement will only be useful to put on an outwardly happy facade.

If the achievement is aimed at elevating your state of existence to that of joy, and eventually to bliss, then one doesn’t have to feel bad about achieving anything that one sets one’s mind & body to turn from idea to action to result.

Whether we go after success, and the happiness associated with achieving it, or strive to being joyful inward, irrespective of the song & dance routine we’ve to perform on the survival plane of existence, is a choice we’ve to make for ourselves. Choose wisely, for our lifetime isn’t that long!

Be Joyful 😌& Spread the Cheer 🌻…

~Swamy