Tag Archives: Better Half

Life Math!

23 Mar

Math is fun only for a select few, historically. Even for the great BhArathi, the MahAkavi, it was “கணக்கு, பிணக்கு, ஆமணக்கு,” something that was not just a struggle but even bitter. So, it isn’t that hard to imagine how Math is for lesser mortals. If it’s that complex a subject in the academic syllabus, then how complicated it should be in Life? Is it any wonder the species that never tires of boasting about it’s extra 6th sense, keeps on failing to score even the bare minimum pass score in “Life Math!”

1+1 is never equal to 1.
That’s why lovers who marry, even after several years of being in love, are shocked to find they are still 2 distinct individuals and can’t merge into 1 being, as they’ve imagined. Nor can business or any kind of partners. When neither is willing to let go of one’s distinct sense of identity, the individual will remain as 1 and 1+1 will always be 2.

1/2 + 1/2 = 1

Lord ShivA, aka the One (he’s Mahadeva, i.e. God of Gods, after all) knew this (obviously) and was prudent to merge his spouse (kind of hard to say who is the better half among the PurushA & Prakriti) into himself and become ArdhanhAreeswarA (part ShivA & part Shakthi), when it comes to walking the talk, i.e. offering an experiential learning opportunity on how the Life Math is done (he happens to be DakshiNAmUrthy, the Adi Guru, as well), but the Homo Sapiens aren’t capable learners, apparently.

But even if we take a few lifetimes to elevate ourselves to contemplate & comprehend the Adiyogi’s teachings, t

here are a couple of ways the life math can be made to work

, in this lifetime itself.

1×1 = 1.

But for this math to work in life, both the 1s have to collaborate & work together to create the force multiplier effect. Unfortunately, the individual 1s mostly stop with the force and keep multiplying it.

This works well, at least for a while, in business partnerships, since partners usually bring different skill sets and capabilities to the table. Remember the 2 Steves who created the fruit company (ahem, that would be Apple).

1/1 is also =1.

But for this equation to happen in life, either of the two 1s should be willing to go down, i.e. let go of their individual identity or ego. Every husband & wife knows – by experience, obviously – that’s just a fantasy or fantastic dream.

This is how a Guru-sishyA relationship works though. Neither does a real Guru (Realised Master) show of his Allness, ever, disseminating all that s/he knows to any sincere seeker, nor does the disciple mind getting chiselled pertinently, until s/he loses any sense of individual identity left.

1+0 is always equal to one.
The 1 is the individual, with many an identity, including but not limited to, name, education, status, title, religion, region, etc. S/he imagines being unique & distinct. That’s the mind trap, but it’s a very attractive & deceptive trap, in which the individual is willing to remain, for lifetimes.

Tonnes of Karma keeps piling up and the repetitive birth-death cycle goes on and on…

The 0 is the divine that’s within the individual, not a digit without any value, but one that’s absolute. That’s exactly why the 0 added after any numeral increases its value manifold.

That 0 waits patiently for the 1 to first realise it & then merge with it or dissolve into it. When that happens, when the realisation dawns upon the individual self, when the creation realises the magnificent presence of the creator glowing silently within the creation, every single being in existence – not just the individual, then the 1 becomes the 0. That’s also when, 1 and 0, which were 2 before, transform into 1, i.e. The One!

😇

AUM PUrNam-adah PUrNam-idam PUrNAt-PUrNam-udachyate
PUrNasya PUrNam-AdhAya PUrNam-Eva-avashissyate
AUM ShAntih ShAntih ShAntih

PUrNam-idam PUrNAt-PUrNam-udachyate
PUrNasya PUrNam-AdhAya PUrNam-Eva-avashissyate
AUM ShAntih ShAntih ShAntih

PUrNasya PUrNam-AdhAya PUrNam-Eva-avashissyate
AUM ShAntih ShAntih ShAntih

😇

AUM That (divine / creator / real Self) is complete / whole; This (individual / creation / non-real self) self is complete / whole; Everything (in existence) manifests from that which is complete / whole (all of creation are manifest forms of the unmanifest divine or NhirguNa Parabrahmam).
(even) When (this – individual) whole is taken from (that – divine) whole, that which remains is (still) whole (omnipresent divine that is infinite & all pervading in nature).
AUM peace.. peace.. peace..

Be Joyful 😌& Spread the Cheer 🌻

~Swamy | @PrakashSwamy

Swamystery in 2014!

31 Dec Realization

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for Swamystery blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A New York City subway train holds 1,200 people. This blog was viewed about 7,100 times in 2014. If it were a NYC subway train, it would take about 6 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

19 Life Lessons From An Enduring Companionship!

21 Jul

Swamily14Mr. & Mrs. Swamy recently celebrated their 19th wedding anniversary. While Life together wasn’t necessarily a hard test for them, it wasn’t a fun ride all along either. But hey, they strived and thrived together for nearly two decades. And what better way to celebrate that than to share 19 life lessons from their enduring companionship, that they hope will be useful and valuable for any life partner to lead a meaningful, purposeful & joyful Life, together!

Disclaimer: Don’t drool over the possibility of getting to know some spicy incidents or juicy events from the Swamys’ Life. It’s the outcome that’s important, so no personal revelations to shake the world here. :O Just Life lessons! 😉

Swamily_NorthShores# 19 Absorb.

Life is full of things that keep happening all the time. The general human tendency is to react to anything that happens around us. Think opposite. Instead of reacting to anything and everything, just absorb things like the sponge that you use to clean dishes. What if that sponge starts reacting to the chemical in the cleaning liquids and the dirt on the vessels? Scary, isn’t it! Be like a sponge and just absorb!

2014 - 5# 18 Be nice.

Your life partner and you live your life together, for long. At least, that’s the idea of marriage or living together. So, be nice to your companion. What if you choose not to be nice? Your life (& your partner’s, needless to say) will probably be full of misery. Do you want to live life miserably together or merrily? Make the choice and Be nice!

2013 - 2# 17 Catch the moment.

Catch the moments that you want to be remembered forever. Not the ones that could make you forget each other for good. You like something he or she says or does, catch the moment to appreciate, applaud or thank him / her then and there. Such moments are your periodic investments for a rich Life dividend. So, watch out & catch the moment!

Swamily10# 16 Dare not to counter.

Each of you will have ideas. But your idea need not always be better than his / her’s. In fact, both your ideas can compliment each other, in most cases. Care to listen to ideas, however dumb or whacky they may sound. Dare not to counter!

# 15 Everything need not be done together.

Pedal Power - 1Each of you do things differently and different things need to be done differently. Let the person with the right ability for the right action do it his / her way. Don’t try to correct, when they do it their way and don’t expect them to do it your way either. Living together doesn’t mean doing together!

# 14 Failing is like falling.

Swamily_GardenWhen you fall, you get up, irrespective of whether you’re a child or adult. Failing too is like that. Whenever one of you fail, get back right up. Help the other to get back, if required. Think about what went wrong and determine how it can be done better. Allow room for failure, as there’s plenty of time in Life, together, to get things right. Failing isn’t dying, but just falling!

20131201_074215# 13 Go that extra mile.

Life is one long walk, together. It doesn’t hurt to go that extra mile, to make that walk pleasant, for both. If he or she doesn’t know something, guide them and show them how to do it. Give a pat on the back or a peck on the cheek, when they do it right. Don’t blow the lid, but do go that extra mile!

2014 - 1# 12 Treat as equal.

He or she is a human being too, just like you. And each and every human being – including your significant other – is unique. Neither of you are better alone, but both of you can be better together. So, treat him / her as equal.

# 11 Getting even doesn’t get you anywhere.

Swamily_Classic500Getting even is for sworn rivals and arch enemies, who are hell bent on bringing the other down. Not for people who are living together. Getting even divides, doesn’t unite. You’re united, to get somewhere in this Life. Getting even doesn’t get you anywhere.

# 10 Just listen.

20140322_120838Whatever nonsense the other one has to share (there are obviously tons of sweet nothings, daily), you have nothing to lose by just listening. You don’t have to react with your own ideas (mostly stupid, according to the other and vice versa) for everything the other says or shares. What’s your problem in just listening, when you don’t have to spend any energy talking. Just listen!

AK_Kash_Snow# 9 Leap, don’t look.

Marriage or living together itself is a huge leap of faith. There’ll be many deep valleys and gaping chasms that you’ll face during the challenging trek called Life. Many a times, there won’t be sufficient time to look before you leap. Have trust, just leap and don’t look (read # 14 again, if you’re doubtful)!

# 8 When life multiplies, divide the responsibilities.

One_Little_Happy_Family1Raising a family is as much a burden, as it is a bliss. But when divided, you’ve to handle only half the additional load of parenthood. Individually, it’ll unfairly double the load. When family multiplies, dividing responsibilities is the only way to balance life and move forward.

# 7 Stop prosecuting.

Gurupooja_Dakshin3Family isn’t a court, your companion isn’t an accused and you are usually neither a good lawyer nor an objective judge. And society – extended family included – are just passive observers, who gleefully watch and spill opinions. Whenever the other says or does something that’s not in your limited list of acceptable things, instead of countering their pov and arguing for yours, try to enrich your pointless list by including their views. But stop prosecuting!

# 6 Independence = Interdependence.

Cheetah_Mahamudra2Before getting together, you were both independent. After getting together, you’re interdependent as family, but still remain independent as individuals. And every individual likes to do things their own way, which could be diametrically opposite to how the other one does the same. Stop competing to be the first among equals as there’s no trophy for winning against your significant other. Live Life together as equals, by learning the winning formula ‘Independence = Interdependence!’

Dakshin_Ayutha_Puja27# 5 To live is to learn.

While doing things wrong (oh, there’ll be plenty of opportunities), instead of accusing each other for screwing things, look at opportunities to not repeat the mistake the next time (be assured they will happen again). Who said the fancy tools and techniques for problem solving you’ve learnt at work doesn’t apply outside it? Learn from every mistake, each of you make. Know the root cause and understand how not to repeat it. Keep doing it. To live is to learn.

Swamily11# 4 Stay tuned.

Life TV has only 2 channels – you and your partner. Curved 4K with Dolby sound notwithstanding. And there’s no fancy remote to skip the other channel, even if the content is repetitive (you live Life one day at a time, after all, doing many things over and over) and boring (according to you, certainly not the other). But the variety of entertainment offered by those two channels could be mind boggling and thoroughly entertaining, if you stay tuned.

# 3 Give & give.

MrsSwamy2Companionship is not about give and take. It’s about giving what one has, to the other, and then some. Not just material things, all the time. A hug, smile, pat or word, at the precise moment, can do unimaginable wonders, to nurture the relationship. When you keep giving, without expecting anything in return, you’ll be amazed at how much you receive. Just give & give.

# 2 KISS.

Swamily_YogaNo, not that obvious one, that you’ll anyway do as Life partners. This one’s the popular acronym for Keep It Simple Stupid. (or Silly, if you happen to be the gentler kind). Life today is already complicated. Living together amidst that chaos is even more so. It’s utterly pointless for either of you to strive to complicate it even more. Companionship can be absolutely blissful, if you learn how to KISS!

# 1 “1 + 1 <> 1” but 2.

Swamyly15It’s a simple math, really. You’re two distinct individuals, living together, because you chose to. If home were a jungle, the lioness hunts to feed the cubs and the Lion sits around lazing and doesn’t do much. Unless, the situation gets desperate. If family were the cosmos, the Sun nourishes all kinds of beings with its light and the moon just reflects it. If living together were lunch, Chapathi and Sabji together make it delicious. Don’t try too hard and fail together, by complicating the simple math. Respect each other for what they bring to the table and live independently, together in total harmony!

And dear reader, since you’ve endured so far, here’s a bonus lesson. 🙂

Swamily_2013s# 0 Never give up. Ever.

By getting into a Life partnership, both of you chose to live it up, together, not give it up. Come what may (be assured many will keep coming at you), no matter what anyone might say (trust us, a million – mostly unsavory or uncharitable – things will be said), keep chugging forward, together. Trust the other to watch out for you. Believe in the other to stand up for you. Nurture the other to care for you. Give up yours to nourish what the other cherishes. In sport, it’s the players that play and win or lose. Not the referees, commentators or spectators. The Game of Life is yours to play after all. And you need to play it together. Forget the result (& the comments) and focus on the P.L.A.Y instead. And while playing, remember to “Never give up on each other. Ever!”

And here’s the lord of all Life lessons, just in case you’re the type that reads the last chapter of a book first! :O

# ∞ Comparison is for commodities, not companions.

You can compare the price and features of grocery, fruits, vegetables, cell phone, automobile, a/v equipment, clothing, jewelry, medicine, flight tickets, insurance, etc. There are many tools available to expedite such comparison. That’s perfectly fine for saving while buying a product or service. Your Life companion isn’t a product and you aren’t supposed to buy him / her for any specific feature or associated benefits. By getting into a companionship, you’re gluing the two lives together with Love and binding them tighter with Trust, in order to sail or swim (being a compulsive optimist, Swamy can’t even imagine sinking, that too together) the Life ocean. And that can’t happen when you start comparing the quality of your boat or sail or radio equipment or life raft while in the middle of the – possibly shark infested – vast ocean, amidst a raging thunderstorm and the shore nowhere in sight. Comparison is for commodities, not companions!

.

Love + Gratitude > @PrakashSwamy

Be Joyful & Spread the Cheer 🙂

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What’s Your EMM?

27 Aug

My better-half is the real better half of the two halves in many ways. Her energy is boundless, focus is laser sharp, follow-up is fervent, multi-tasking is mindboggling, kindness is unconditional and complete selflessness is spellbinding. When Jr. makes it to the podium as World Champion (he’s a Chess pro) some day, I wouldn’t think twice before pointing the press & media her way as all credit will have to be rightfully hers. I would’ve been somebody in this society, if I had even 1/3rd of her traits. Yet, for all her great qualities, there’s one thing that never failed to perplex me.

There are times when she sits almost still in front of the TV when some stupid (it’s not called Idiot box for nothing) program is running, with a blissful smile on her face. She’s not one of those home makers whose lives are entwined with the whining stories (if there’s any) of never-ending soaps. She doesn’t watch sports irrespective of whether it is the IPL or Olympics (she might if they ever broadcast a Chess championship, which might happen when either they rename the sport as Cricket or the Sun rises in the west)! She isn’t a big movie fan either. We never have to fight for the remote as I’ve a separate home theatre setup (natural for a Hollywood movie & all things HD buff like me), but this one was a real Sherlock case for me & I decided to unravel the mystery (without either the hat or Mr.Watson by my side, of course).

The programs that she watched (or appeared to watch to be accurate) weren’t the same, but fell under 3 categories.

  • Talk (more Shout) shows where family members shamelessly wash dirty linen in the studio – with a generous helping by the host (usually in an ill-fitting suit, with untucked shirt) who usually adds a generous amount of fuel to the fire by pushing them to throw more dirt on each other. These shows are typically concluded by a few self-proclaimed experts (according to the host) who liberally advise all present in studio with their wiser-than-thou views, which may offend not only the mud-slinger participants but also the viewers.
  • Dancing or Singing competitions that torment kids & grownups alike, usually with out-of-circulation starlets or masters with horrendous sense of dress or style as judges. Someone – usually the host / ess – will always howl ‘oooh’ whenever the judges speak. And the dancers – invariably wearing garish make-up and plastic smile – will pretend to wait with bated breath for the expert verdict, delivered using language that’ll drive purists to Seppuku.
  • Comedy scenes from movies, where the comedians really try way too hard to make the viewers laugh. The daily comics in the newspapers do it effortlessly. May be none of these comedians read any comics! Or watched the classics with effervescent Chaplin or evergreen Tom & Jerry. It’s not about the faces or noises, stupid!

Now that the investigator in me has dug up so much vital information, the engineer took over and got down to the task of analyzing the hard facts in front of me and tried putting together the pieces of the puzzle. It was as futile as me trying to solve the Rubic’s cube, which I could at least dismantle and put back together. Ishikawa San and Monsieur De Bono were further taunting me with their wonderful tools to decipher this complex scenario. I also pondered about 5-Why, before deciding to give it a rest, as I have no intention to contest for Clooney’s greypularity, as other than being humans on the wrong side of 40 with, well, grey hair, we don’t have much in common anyway!

The Eureka moment happened on a weekend afternoon (oh, don’t have any wild imagination as there’s no bathtub in my home). It was just another day in paradise (my home, naturally) and I was drying clothes. This is a chore I willingly take upon (a minuscule one compared to the household chores my better-half handles on a daily basis) and do meticulously. After about 15 minutes into drying clothes, it suddenly dawned upon me (despite being a cloudy day) that I was almost thoughtless during that time. My mind was blank. Empty, actually. I ran like a mad man to my woman and asked her if that’s how she felt when watching TV. More like, looking through the idiot box. She just smiled and nodded!

So, there it is. The ‘Empty Mind Moment’ or EMM in Millennialspeak. A still moment that empties pointless thoughts. A clear moment that cleans the clutter in our minds. A draining moment that sucks away the cobwebs that clog our mind. A bare moment that dares us to think different. One that defocuses all deliberations and refreshes the brain to refocus on what’s necessary and important. Every one of us have our EMMs. The idiot box switches on the EMM for my lady love. Drying clothes flutter and awaken my EMM. You too must have one, obviously. So, What’s your EMM?

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