Mata, Pita, Guru, Deivam – the order that everyone still gets wrong! ~ Part 1

9 May

Mata, Pita, Guru, Deivam – the order that everyone still gets wrong! ~ Part 1 

Mata (mother or mummy), Pita (father or pops), Guru (teacher or spiritual guide), Deivam (God or supreme Truth / reality) – this is the order of obeisance we’ve been taught from our childhood, first by the first one (the second one usually doesn’t bother about touchy-feely things like these 😉 and later by the pseudo third ones (standard edition teachers who ass-u-me Guru = Teacher, because it’s an easy way to intimidate students, and parents  :O)

The BAUHumbug way everyone understood this is it’s the ascending order of respect or devotion, i.e.

  1. Respect your mom, aka Mata – she’ll be delighted if respect is elevated to worship (just the way it’s in the 69% terribly worshipful southern state), ‘coz your daily survival pretty much depends on her whims & fancies
  2. Respect your dad, aka Pita – he’s perfectly fine with respect (worship is reserved for temples only, in his lifebook), which in many cases is expected & in most cases is demanded as well
  3. Respect your Teacher, aka Guru – this is where the confusion starts because
    a) there are too many teachers one encounters in a long studious lifetime, who all invariably expect respect anyway
    b) pretty much none of them teach you anything really useful to make a decent living
    c) none of them even remotely appear like the ISO certified Gurus in their flowing robes and shining faces beaming from within amazing beards but instead are like the uncle or aunt next door, which is essentially what they are anyway 
  4. Worship your God, aka Deivam – the key here is ‘your God’ because of the amazing human trait for inventing not only Gods but also multiple religions for the one & only God (at least that’s what every scripture worth its ink says, consistently)

20131102_140745You, like any fellow human, do respect or worship all of them diligently, but eventually end up wondering why, especially after you start using your own credit or debit card extensively for your expenses, however incredulous they are (I meant the expenses ;). 

Why the heck should I respect (forget worship dude, that’s so Jurassic)? 

  • Parents (oh yeah, both of ’em – Mata & Pita) – who just did their duty, which they’re supposed to do, because they’re the ones who chose to give birth to me, not the other way around (given a choice of birth, you would’ve probably picked Ambani or Zuckerberg or one of those Khans or even the newest power heartthrob Trudeau – even though it would be pretty amazing if you had made those choices before you were even a drop of sperm)!
  • Teacher – ugghh, someone who’s been repeating the same lessons from pre-independence era, doesn’t like being questioned (even genuinely curious ones like ‘has no one ever planted trees before emperor Asoka’) and adamant on reducing marks for not putting a stupid brown wrapper on all text books & notebooks (with a label for each – at the top right hand corner). And, even more importantly, s/he isn’t on WhatsApp to respond to your queries just in time!
  • God – where the heck was s/he when I had fractured my limb or lost in the final round of national tournament or unable to find even one girlfriend from among 20 or so girls in my class. Oh btw, how come no one in my extended family or friends have never seen him/her even once!

20131102_140219Absolutely justified WTF reactions and very valid questions

Pretty much every millennial (are they called Gen Z now!) human being’s reaction would pretty much be the same, it won’t be a surprise if many of them have already posted their angst on Facebook wall, shared their bewilderment on WhatsApp groups & Snapchatted their dismay as well. In fact, some of them may be already trending on YouTube, beaming their bemusement in a video shot with their Pita’s latest smartphone, while munching a post-dinner snack from Mata, keeping aside the homework their Science Guru wanted the next day morning, while watching Morgan Freeman having riotous fun as The God in Bruce Almighty!

Knowing well it’s practically impossible for the first three digital dinosaurs to answer any questions by digital natives and the fourth (God, in case your social media hopping, big-G searching fickle mind has already forgotten about the MPGD order) doesn’t bother about such silly questions because s/he will sedately wait for many yugas for you to ask the right question (that too to yourself), let’s give up the idea of conjuring some millennial-friendly answer (that’s very relevant for their dinosaur elders as well) and focus instead on comprehending the problem at hand.

Moore’s law states that the computing power will double every two years (as transistors simultaneously became smaller & more powerful).

Thinking2Like any smart human whose intelligent sentences have become enchanting quotes (hundreds of Swamy’s too are starred in swamyray.wordpress.com or can be searched using #swamyray or #swamy on Twitter, Facebook & Google+), monsieur Moore has also left a lot unsaid as he must’ve been a very busy man predicting such complex things and then compressing them to fit under 140 characters (that’s a tweet length, in case you’re a relic from the Cretaceous or Mesozoic era). Here are the other possible things he hasn’t said, which Swamy gathered using the bloody expensive, ludicrous looking VR kit launched by one of the many smart phone makers, who are all in a no-win race to keep churning out phones that are nothing but clones – exactly the same as what everyone else makes!

Moore’s law unstates (or does not state – in case your aunt happens to be a language teacher) that…

  • Human intelligence will be halved every two US presidential terms (Clinton-Bush-Obama-Trump or Madmoiselle Clinton – you do the math)
  • Human interest diminishes to the inverse of infinity every two decades (that’s typically when a long-serving political leader finally decides to hang his/her boot, not because s/he wants to but since they’ve too – especially since they’re medically dead & his/her son or daughter is anointed to the throne by the chamchas & chelas, thereby ensuring nothing ever changes)
  • Human inquisitiveness is replaced by indifference every two academic years (as your birthday celebrations shrink from party for everybody to somebody to almost nobody, which is typically every two years, you assume you’ve grown bigger & bolder but neither the first & second – umm Mata, Pita – nor the third – grrrrr… Guru – seem to agree with your self-assessment and still admonish you for questioning their individual wisdom & collective might)
  • Human insight into problems – self-crafted or otherwise – and solutions (needless to add) subdues to the point of irrelevance every 2 apps (if you’re blinking, then WhatsApp your granddaughter)

Swamily11It’s only the last point that needs our attention, but Swamy went ahead and wrote the whole Moore’s law section because it amply demonstrates Swamy‘s uncanny ability to connect seemingly unconnected abstract dots about pretty much anything known to humans (and unknown as well, apparently). Otherwise, even without the whole Moore’s law section, this blog would still be very readable & thoroughly enjoyable. Heh.. heh.. 😀

We live in the exciting era of human devolution where intelligence has become a nondescript commodity, because for pretty much anything and everything a human still needs to do there’s an app. And, for any question, there’s big-G (no, not the Fourth G, but Alphabet’s subsidiary that’s probably used to find what the heck Alphabet means or does as well). So fitting the famous foursome into our daily lives is kinda hard for appstatic youngsters. And that’s exactly why the problem of misinterpreting the order and its purpose needs a fresh perspective, interpretation & clarification, which, incidentally, hasn’t been appified & uploaded to Play store or App Store yet by some vague 14 year old self-taught app whizkid from Yangon (they now have a democratic – well, almost – government, in case you’re the type that shuns reading or watching NEWS).

First things first (isn’t that why they’re, ahem.. first) – the order.

The Order of Mata, Pita, Guru, Deivam isn’t Ascending but Descending.

IMG-20140525-WA0000It’s fine if your mouth involuntarily screamed WTF, that too in the presence of M, P or G (not that they’re too bothered, considering that’s how every 3+ year old kid reacts these days). That’s what happens when you find your comprehension of something taught for ages (an inherent design flaw of the colonial way of rote education designed to produce obedient clerks that kicked out the exceptionally effective Gurukul way of learning that used to produce humans with their thinking & curiosity intact) takes a 180 degree turn.

CoachSwamyTake a moment. Gulp a cold one to cool yourself, if needed. And start reading the next part, aka Part 2 (that’s what usually comes after Part 1, unless you’ve emigrated from Mercury where the numeral system is entirely different, just-in-time before a billionaire blondie POTUS decided to not let any non-American into, well, America.. where else!) carefully, from the very first sentence onward.

… to be concluded in Part 2… as soon as Swamy finishes writing it 😉

Be Joyful & Spread the Cheer 🙂

~ @PrakashSwamy

 

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