19 Life Lessons From An Enduring Companionship!

21 Jul

Swamily14Mr. & Mrs. Swamy recently celebrated their 19th wedding anniversary. While Life together wasn’t necessarily a hard test for them, it wasn’t a fun ride all along either. But hey, they strived and thrived together for nearly two decades. And what better way to celebrate that than to share 19 life lessons from their enduring companionship, that they hope will be useful and valuable for any life partner to lead a meaningful, purposeful & joyful Life, together!

Disclaimer: Don’t drool over the possibility of getting to know some spicy incidents or juicy events from the Swamys’ Life. It’s the outcome that’s important, so no personal revelations to shake the world here. :O Just Life lessons! 😉

Swamily_NorthShores# 19 Absorb.

Life is full of things that keep happening all the time. The general human tendency is to react to anything that happens around us. Think opposite. Instead of reacting to anything and everything, just absorb things like the sponge that you use to clean dishes. What if that sponge starts reacting to the chemical in the cleaning liquids and the dirt on the vessels? Scary, isn’t it! Be like a sponge and just absorb!

2014 - 5# 18 Be nice.

Your life partner and you live your life together, for long. At least, that’s the idea of marriage or living together. So, be nice to your companion. What if you choose not to be nice? Your life (& your partner’s, needless to say) will probably be full of misery. Do you want to live life miserably together or merrily? Make the choice and Be nice!

2013 - 2# 17 Catch the moment.

Catch the moments that you want to be remembered forever. Not the ones that could make you forget each other for good. You like something he or she says or does, catch the moment to appreciate, applaud or thank him / her then and there. Such moments are your periodic investments for a rich Life dividend. So, watch out & catch the moment!

Swamily10# 16 Dare not to counter.

Each of you will have ideas. But your idea need not always be better than his / her’s. In fact, both your ideas can compliment each other, in most cases. Care to listen to ideas, however dumb or whacky they may sound. Dare not to counter!

# 15 Everything need not be done together.

Pedal Power - 1Each of you do things differently and different things need to be done differently. Let the person with the right ability for the right action do it his / her way. Don’t try to correct, when they do it their way and don’t expect them to do it your way either. Living together doesn’t mean doing together!

# 14 Failing is like falling.

Swamily_GardenWhen you fall, you get up, irrespective of whether you’re a child or adult. Failing too is like that. Whenever one of you fail, get back right up. Help the other to get back, if required. Think about what went wrong and determine how it can be done better. Allow room for failure, as there’s plenty of time in Life, together, to get things right. Failing isn’t dying, but just falling!

20131201_074215# 13 Go that extra mile.

Life is one long walk, together. It doesn’t hurt to go that extra mile, to make that walk pleasant, for both. If he or she doesn’t know something, guide them and show them how to do it. Give a pat on the back or a peck on the cheek, when they do it right. Don’t blow the lid, but do go that extra mile!

2014 - 1# 12 Treat as equal.

He or she is a human being too, just like you. And each and every human being – including your significant other – is unique. Neither of you are better alone, but both of you can be better together. So, treat him / her as equal.

# 11 Getting even doesn’t get you anywhere.

Swamily_Classic500Getting even is for sworn rivals and arch enemies, who are hell bent on bringing the other down. Not for people who are living together. Getting even divides, doesn’t unite. You’re united, to get somewhere in this Life. Getting even doesn’t get you anywhere.

# 10 Just listen.

20140322_120838Whatever nonsense the other one has to share (there are obviously tons of sweet nothings, daily), you have nothing to lose by just listening. You don’t have to react with your own ideas (mostly stupid, according to the other and vice versa) for everything the other says or shares. What’s your problem in just listening, when you don’t have to spend any energy talking. Just listen!

AK_Kash_Snow# 9 Leap, don’t look.

Marriage or living together itself is a huge leap of faith. There’ll be many deep valleys and gaping chasms that you’ll face during the challenging trek called Life. Many a times, there won’t be sufficient time to look before you leap. Have trust, just leap and don’t look (read # 14 again, if you’re doubtful)!

# 8 When life multiplies, divide the responsibilities.

One_Little_Happy_Family1Raising a family is as much a burden, as it is a bliss. But when divided, you’ve to handle only half the additional load of parenthood. Individually, it’ll unfairly double the load. When family multiplies, dividing responsibilities is the only way to balance life and move forward.

# 7 Stop prosecuting.

Gurupooja_Dakshin3Family isn’t a court, your companion isn’t an accused and you are usually neither a good lawyer nor an objective judge. And society – extended family included – are just passive observers, who gleefully watch and spill opinions. Whenever the other says or does something that’s not in your limited list of acceptable things, instead of countering their pov and arguing for yours, try to enrich your pointless list by including their views. But stop prosecuting!

# 6 Independence = Interdependence.

Cheetah_Mahamudra2Before getting together, you were both independent. After getting together, you’re interdependent as family, but still remain independent as individuals. And every individual likes to do things their own way, which could be diametrically opposite to how the other one does the same. Stop competing to be the first among equals as there’s no trophy for winning against your significant other. Live Life together as equals, by learning the winning formula ‘Independence = Interdependence!’

Dakshin_Ayutha_Puja27# 5 To live is to learn.

While doing things wrong (oh, there’ll be plenty of opportunities), instead of accusing each other for screwing things, look at opportunities to not repeat the mistake the next time (be assured they will happen again). Who said the fancy tools and techniques for problem solving you’ve learnt at work doesn’t apply outside it? Learn from every mistake, each of you make. Know the root cause and understand how not to repeat it. Keep doing it. To live is to learn.

Swamily11# 4 Stay tuned.

Life TV has only 2 channels – you and your partner. Curved 4K with Dolby sound notwithstanding. And there’s no fancy remote to skip the other channel, even if the content is repetitive (you live Life one day at a time, after all, doing many things over and over) and boring (according to you, certainly not the other). But the variety of entertainment offered by those two channels could be mind boggling and thoroughly entertaining, if you stay tuned.

# 3 Give & give.

MrsSwamy2Companionship is not about give and take. It’s about giving what one has, to the other, and then some. Not just material things, all the time. A hug, smile, pat or word, at the precise moment, can do unimaginable wonders, to nurture the relationship. When you keep giving, without expecting anything in return, you’ll be amazed at how much you receive. Just give & give.

# 2 KISS.

Swamily_YogaNo, not that obvious one, that you’ll anyway do as Life partners. This one’s the popular acronym for Keep It Simple Stupid. (or Silly, if you happen to be the gentler kind). Life today is already complicated. Living together amidst that chaos is even more so. It’s utterly pointless for either of you to strive to complicate it even more. Companionship can be absolutely blissful, if you learn how to KISS!

# 1 “1 + 1 <> 1” but 2.

Swamyly15It’s a simple math, really. You’re two distinct individuals, living together, because you chose to. If home were a jungle, the lioness hunts to feed the cubs and the Lion sits around lazing and doesn’t do much. Unless, the situation gets desperate. If family were the cosmos, the Sun nourishes all kinds of beings with its light and the moon just reflects it. If living together were lunch, Chapathi and Sabji together make it delicious. Don’t try too hard and fail together, by complicating the simple math. Respect each other for what they bring to the table and live independently, together in total harmony!

And dear reader, since you’ve endured so far, here’s a bonus lesson. 🙂

Swamily_2013s# 0 Never give up. Ever.

By getting into a Life partnership, both of you chose to live it up, together, not give it up. Come what may (be assured many will keep coming at you), no matter what anyone might say (trust us, a million – mostly unsavory or uncharitable – things will be said), keep chugging forward, together. Trust the other to watch out for you. Believe in the other to stand up for you. Nurture the other to care for you. Give up yours to nourish what the other cherishes. In sport, it’s the players that play and win or lose. Not the referees, commentators or spectators. The Game of Life is yours to play after all. And you need to play it together. Forget the result (& the comments) and focus on the P.L.A.Y instead. And while playing, remember to “Never give up on each other. Ever!”

And here’s the lord of all Life lessons, just in case you’re the type that reads the last chapter of a book first! :O

# ∞ Comparison is for commodities, not companions.

You can compare the price and features of grocery, fruits, vegetables, cell phone, automobile, a/v equipment, clothing, jewelry, medicine, flight tickets, insurance, etc. There are many tools available to expedite such comparison. That’s perfectly fine for saving while buying a product or service. Your Life companion isn’t a product and you aren’t supposed to buy him / her for any specific feature or associated benefits. By getting into a companionship, you’re gluing the two lives together with Love and binding them tighter with Trust, in order to sail or swim (being a compulsive optimist, Swamy can’t even imagine sinking, that too together) the Life ocean. And that can’t happen when you start comparing the quality of your boat or sail or radio equipment or life raft while in the middle of the – possibly shark infested – vast ocean, amidst a raging thunderstorm and the shore nowhere in sight. Comparison is for commodities, not companions!

.

Love + Gratitude > @PrakashSwamy

Be Joyful & Spread the Cheer 🙂

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5 Responses to “19 Life Lessons From An Enduring Companionship!”

  1. Suresh Ramanathan Aylur July 25, 2014 at 6:56 pm #

    Thanks Prakash for a wonderful post. very valuable for todays generation.

  2. prabhulog July 24, 2014 at 10:41 pm #

    Namaskaram Anna – Wonderful post. Definitely the more we care about our companion – the more beautiful our lives will be. Pranam.

  3. Dani July 23, 2014 at 4:15 pm #

    Loved it Swobb…. Wonderful life lessons..

    will u many more such years together 🙂

  4. Soumya July 22, 2014 at 2:03 pm #

    Hi TM, This is your best post EVER! As you know, i’m a regular reader of your posts and have liked them all. However, this one seems to be the crowning glory of all. Best Anniversary wishes once again to the truly SUPER couple.
    Can’t wait to see your silver jubilee post which will be six years from now (see, I’ve started to look ahead already :))

    • prakashswamy July 22, 2014 at 3:09 pm #

      Thank you MM for your kind comments. Glad the post resonated. It seems to be getting quite a few eyeballs, which interestingly provides Swamy an insight for chiseling the content of his book P.L.A.Y 😉

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